HOLY SHIT I WEIGHED TODAY. DAMN I FEEEL DAMNED FAT.
My mother told me I’m fat and that the reason why I have depression problems is because I am unhappy in myself so that makes me eat, which then makes me fat. My mom is 250lbs or more. I don’t think she should be saying anything to me at all. I may be gaining weight but there is way more of a reason behind it than she knows, or that anyone knows. I’m not ready to share that reason yet.
She is now scheduling for me to see a new therapist. She wants me on pills where I don’t eat again, where I’m deliriously happy, have splitting migraines, and leave the house just to make her happy. She keeps talking about buying me clothes before I leave for college and to lose weight so I can get in the clothes that she bought me two years ago, that I barely wore. She told me that she would get me a tummy tuck if I really wanted one,I’m only 17, I think that shows my family is really fucked up.
I’m not going to let my weight control my life, but my mom seems determined to let it control hers.